Bonkers instructions included not doing “number twos” in a particular toilet and not throwing the ‘evil’ family cat off the balcony.
A series of bizarre Post-It notes from a mother to her house-sitting son – including a plea not to let the cat fall off the balcony – has become a hit online.
Martyn Hett’s mum Figen left thirteen crazy reminders before jetting off on holiday, including one telling him not to do “number twos” in one bathroom because “you may never escape”.
Another alluded to his hatred of the “evil” family cat, while in true, uncool parent style called WhatsApp “What’s Up”.
Some of the highlights include:
“Top floor toilet. Don’t do a No 2 as it doesn’t flush well. Also don’t lock that door YOU MAY NEVER ESCAPE!!!!”
“Help yourself to my food. Wine ok to have but please stay away from whisky (I know you don’t drink it but your mates may do)”
“Balcony door in your bedroom. Be careful with the cat!”
“Stay in touch. Email, what’s up, facetime”
PR executive Martyn was so bemused by the messages he posted them on Facebook to amuse friends.
The 27-year-old said: “She does it every time she goes away, I have absolutely no idea why she leaves so many but I find them quite endearing.”
On his hatred of the family cat Misty, Martyn, from Stockport, Greater Manchester, said: “She’s a bitch, she’s the most evil cat in the world.
“Mum’s warned me about the balcony as she doesn’t trust me enough to close the doors and expects to come home and find the cat has plummeted to its death. She knows I’m not a fan, so that’s probably why.”
Mum Figen is spending two weeks on holiday in her native Turkey – and is presumably unaware that she has become an internet star.
But judging by her son’s previous misdemeanours as a teenager, she may be right to worry.
Martyn said: “I’m obviously a responsible adult and have my own flat, but when I’ve house-sat for her in the past I would have parties and end up in trouble.
“When I was 15 my whole school year of 150 people turned up because I put the invite on MSN.
“”I’d ignore the notes when I was younger but I generally obey them these days.
“Mum has always found out in the past if I’ve thrown a party, but I’ll probably have one anyway. It’s too good a house to waste.”
Courtesy of Mirror.co.uk
By Katie Ross and Ross Logan.